This Week's Insight

Going off the Rails

With the best will in the world, none of us measures up to life’s challenges in a consistently mindful and effective way. We all, at the very least from time to time, struggle with our state of mind, our clarity of purpose, often even forgetting what it is we really want to achieve – not just in life but in the present moment.

State of mind is a constantly “moveable feast” – where the smallest or slightest external or internal distraction can take us light years away from that optimal clear and present state of mind in which we are most effective, most tuned in, most in flow. We’re all engaged in a constant battle – one, I suspect, that is destined to last a lifetime.

But that’s no reason to be down-hearted, that’s no reason to beat ourselves up about how we might have strayed from the “straight and narrow” – it simply is what it is, part and parcel of our life’s journey. And, whilst we might have boarded a train of thought that takes us in circles, we need to get ourselves back on track now. And we can do it ourselves.

How? Well, if you find yourself side-tracked or mindless, noticing that you’re in that state is only half the battle. You then need to compare your state of mind with the clear and calm state of mind that you know and experience through meditation – and consciously choose to return to that state of calm and presence.
If you meditate you’ll easily spot the difference – if you don’t meditate, you should.

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The Free Weekly Business & Personal Development	Issue Number: 37
Video Ezine from Gurdy.Net	August 24, 2009

This Week's Book

Man's Search for Meaning - Viktor E. Frankl

ISBN 0-671-02337-3

Internationally renowned psychiatrist Frank endured years of unspeakable horror in Nazi death camps. During and partly because of his suffering, he developed a revolutionary approach to psychotherapy known as logotherapy. At the core of this theory is the belief that man’s primary motivational force is his search for meaning. Cited in Dr. Frankl’s New York Times obituary in 1997 as “an enduring work of survival literature”, this book is more than his story: it is a remarkable blend of science and humanism and “an introduction to the most significant psychological movement of our day” (Gordon W. Allport)

Maybe “normal” people are right when they think that “not too bad” is OK! A short but very heavy read – the first half of the book recounts Frankl’s time in Nazi concentration camps – and how the experience honed the mind and spirit of those that endured such physical and psychological pain. The second half of the book goes into some detail on Frankl’s psychological theories which he developed after the War. Worth reading for the first half - Willie Horton

Publisher's Note

Every week we take a look at a real-life story that simply proves that so-called normal people are 'all over the place'!

As you might remember from last week, our friends, George and Josette, were subjected to Mark (the fruit and nut case) for a whole week’s skiing – as well as telling the ski instructor she didn’t know how to teach, he also told the ski rental shop that they didn’t know how to adjust the fittings on skis – “I’ve tested these and am convinced that my boots wouldn’t release in the event of a major accident!” (I heard him with my own ears! – and, remember, this was Mark’s first time skiing).

Our friends might have had to endure this for week but Connie (Mark’s wife) had a lifetime of it. Our friends discovered that Connie loves cheese but is not allowed have it in the house, because Mark hates it. Not only that, one evening on Mark’s return from work, he asked Connie “What’s that God awful stink in the house?” After a little while, he discovered that she had bought some Camembert – and duly ordered that she throw it out. Having put it in a bin bag in the garage (so Mark would be relieved of the smell), Connie was then told to remove it from the house – anywhere – that he could still smell it from the garage.

This is only a minor example as we discovered that not only was Connie not allowed to have any opinion of her own (on major matters such as where their children would be educated and how) – poor George and Josette weren’t allowed express an opinion contrary to Mark’s, in their own home!

I could go on and on – but what intrigues me about the whole episode is that I’ve met Mark, I know others who know him and, apparently, he’s highly respected in his field. But then, of course, it’s just normal people approving of other normal people – all the lunatics together

Have you joined us on the Gurdy Network? Online Chat, Personal Development Forum, Full Social Network. The world - your daily life - is plagued by "normal" people - and they drag you back into normality. You need to be careful who you spend time with, with whom you share your hopes and dreams, to whom you willingly give your precious energy. That's why I set up the Gurdy Network - so that you can hang out with abnormal people - like-minded people, so that we can all lighten the load for each other on life's journey - Join the Gurdy Network today

Lead Article

How to Make the Right Life Choices

by Willie Horton www.gurdy.net

Everyone is at a crossroads each moment of each day - it's just that we never stop to reflect on the fact that each minute decision we make can have life-changing consequences. A client recently recounted a story from his youth. He told me about he used to hang out with his best friend - and his best friend's girlfriend. One Sunday afternoon, rather than doing his usual thing of going to the rugby club for a few pints, he decided he'd call to the girl's house for a chat.

The rest is history - they were married twenty years just a few days ago. As he said to me "If I hadn't taken a right turn out of m y house that Sunday afternoon, we wouldn't have married, my three children wouldn't exist and I probably wouldn't have been propelled along my career path the way I've been, given that my wife has helped me so much and been so supportive.

Little choices we make thoughtlessly, mindlessly, change the very course of our life. You've made those choices - so have I. And, yet, the vast majority of us make those choices completely unwittingly, paying little or no attention to the consequences of each of our actions. Only the very few - what the University of Chicago might term uncommonly successful people - have the presence of mind, the self-awareness, to realise the importance of the moment - every moment - and, in doing so, are all the more likely to choose their actions reflectively, mindfully. The converse, for what the same university might call "normal people" is that we continually create lives that, at best, are "not too bad", by not being mindful of the opportunities that each moment can potentially create.

As I tell my many clients, the people who are most important to you in your business and personal lives at present were once complete strangers to you. The logical conclusion we can draw from that blindingly obvious statement is that we never know when we are going to bump into the next stranger who will assist us further on our journey. Normal people interact with other normal people and situations without this realisation and, therefore, their life's journey can rarely be described as exciting. Most normal people plod through life on what they perceive to be almost a pre-determined treadmill. People brought up in working-class environments usually go on to lead working-class lives. Where I live, village artisans - plumbers, carpenters, masons - usually bring future village artisans into the world. The same goes for most people.

Abnormal people interact with normal people and situations in a totally different manner - ever present to and aware of the potential that each new encounter can hold. The difference between these normal and abnormal people has nothing to do with socio-economic background, nothing to do with education, nothing to do with their friends. The difference is simply to be found in their state of mind. Research indicates that many abnormal people instinctively operate at this level - in these cases, their early upbringing may well have had a positive impact (or a negative upbringing might have spurred them into alternative action). But not all abnormal people are "made that way" - we can all be abnormal, we can all re-learn the ability we innately possessed as children to meet and greet each new person and each new situation with a childlike open-mindedness.

And therein lies the secret to abnormal happiness and success, far beyond the perceived pre-determined routes on which most normal lives meander. We simply need to re-learn to be attentive - not seeking out, searching for or hankering after life's next opportunity, but simply fully attentive to and mindful of the present moment, the here and now, the only time and place we have.

Psychological research, quantum physics and the age-old wisdom of great minds all converge on the importance of paying attention. Your ability to pay attention to directly linked to your ability to be abnormally happy and effortlessly successful. And all it takes is a little commitment on your part to deliberately pay attention to small things in your life - so that the big things in your life will follow. By way of example, I invariably suggest to my clients that they shave or brush their teeth with the hand with which they do not habitually perform those mundane tasks. This has a double effect - because in deciding to do such a repetitive and habitual task differently, we realise, in that moment, that for every mundane and repetitive task in our lives, we have a choice - moment to moment. That, for many is the only revelation they need. But there's more because, in doing something so simple differently, we are compelled to pay that simple task more attention. And paying more attention is the key to the life your heart desires.

So, you can take the first step on a journey of discovery that will change your life right here, right now. In doing so, you will realise that the choice between abnormal happiness and success and the mundane alternatives is not a matter of luck, education or social status - it is simply a matter of choice. Your choice.