The Bi-Weekly Ezine from Gurdy.Net - a new Personal Development Article every Wednesday + BONUS video

Issue No: 069 - February 10, 2010

This Week's Personal Development Article

Willie Horton - personal development and business success expert - creator of the Gurdy.Net Online Workshop - the Ultimate Persona Development Plan

External events or people do not cause you stress - your thoughts and reactions to what you think is going on cause you to think you're stressed. As a responsible human being, you have the power to choose which thoughts you will focus on. In other words, you choose to be stressed. You've got to turn your focus somewhere else (because only an idiot would choose to be stressed) - turn it to the only place and time there is - here and now... Willie Horton

So-called "normal" people are crazy - so says 70 years' research. But open your eyes and you can see the nonsense all around you - most days of the week. Each Wednesday we take a peek!

How to Beat Stress

Stress is a choice. Stress has nothing to do with external events or how other people are treating or mistreating you. Stress is unrelated to what's going on around you. Rather, stress is the sole result of what's going on inside. We make sense of what is happening externally based on what psychology calls our “stored knowledge” – things we have learned from previous experiences, in particular those that took places in our formative childhood years. This stored knowledge enables us react without having to give too much thought to what is actually happening. However, when you consider that the average adult’s stored knowledge is decades out of date and, therefore, totally unrelated to what is actually happening in the here and now, the average normal adult ends up making non-sense of external events and, in being enabled to react without giving it too much thought, is effectively disabled from taking any real action to appropriately handle what is actually happening in the moment.

It really is that simple – stress is the result of a disabled mind reacting to what it thinks is going on. And, yet, stress is very real. It can make you physically sick – I’ve known people to vomit prior to making a presentation or attending an interview. It can cause more serious longer-term illness – stress is directly linked, through empirical research, to heart disease, high blood pressure, digestive disorders and cancer. Indeed, one’s ability to survive cancer is, at least partly, influenced by the role stress plays in your life. And a review of research surveys in

The US and Britain easily leads me to conclude that hundreds of millions of people are suffering from stress as you read these words.
Yes, stress is ruining people's lives – the World Health Organization says it killing people. But stress does not exist – it is the illusionary creation of a seriously deranged normal mind that would prefer to focus on the thoughts that lead to stress, instead of focusing on the one place and time you can banish stress and be at your most effective – now. So, which would you prefer, because if you're feeling stressed, you've already made your choice. Choose differently – it can save your life and will certainly change it for the better. It is that simple – if you know how!

As we have already said, stress is solely the result of what is going on inside your head – and the really, really good news is that this is the one and only area of your life over which you have absolute and total control. It is you who decides which thoughts you will pay attention to – it is you who decides where to focus your attention. This is a skill we all have but, as normal adults, we have not so much forgotten – rather we just don’t bother to pay attention anymore, because it’s easier not to. But, as we have already discussed, the consequences of not paying attention to the here and now are dire – they are ruining what could be an extra-ordinary and effortlessly successful life – for you.

So, here’s the deal – moment to moment you need to choose to pay attention to the here and now, to what is actually going on in the here and now, not what your sick mind thinks is going on. And I can think of no better phrase to describe the process that “coming to your senses” – for that is exactly what the process of paying attention is. In order to drag your mind – conscious and subconscious – away from its obsession with out-of-date “programs” and destructive, negative, stressful thoughts, you simply use your five senses to experience the here and now. It’s what young children (two- or three-years old) do – and they don’t suffer from stress, they live life and that is what you must do. Except, of course, with the advantage of life experiences, you can be childlike without being childish.

Your five senses are your only interface with the outside world. Instead of paying attention to what your senses tell you, you have gotten into the adult bad habit of using your stored knowledge to make a nonsense out of now – your stress, based on thoughts resulting from this perverse process, is the result. Your stress is nothing more – it is not real. It only feels real because your behaviour and body are reacting to these weird and useless thoughts which are unrelated to the reality of now.

You need to relearn how to pay attention without misinterpreting the moment. You need to learn how to observe and notice what is going on without adding your own prejudices. This process of relearning starts in the comfort and privacy of your own home – or somewhere where you know you will not be disturbed. In sitting comfortably for a few minutes – perhaps five or ten – simply close your eyes and notice how much louder the sounds appear. Of course, they’re not louder, it’s just that you’re paying them attention. Notice how your body feels, how your clothes feel on your skin, how your feet feel on the floor – tune yourself in to what you are actually feeling. Notice your breathing – something that you are doing all of your life but of which you are rarely aware.

Get to know what it’s like to be alive in the moment – at first, in privacy, where you feel comfortable – then, your practice will flow over into the ordinary situations of everyday life.

The winter holidays have arrived here in France – an annual opportunity to marvel at the normal herd-like behaviour of the French holidaymaker in their native environment!

First of all, French people only go on holidays on a Saturday – there appears to be an unwritten law which must be obeyed on pain of being seen to be abnormal. Not only is Saturday to prescribed day – they all take to the road at the same time. So, year after year, and last Saturday was no exception, five- six- or even seven-hour traffic jams are the norm. Each year the French tourist willingly sits in crawling lines of traffic without it ever occurring to them that they could leave earlier or later or, heaven forbid, even consider leaving on the Friday or the Sunday. Tempers flare, children get sick in the back of stationary cars, whole days (of holidays) are lost, but nothing ever changes.

Secondly, French people only eat at pre-ordained times. Anyone ever taken a motoring holiday through France and tried to get somewhere for lunch at half-past one in the afternoon? That’s simply to abnormal to contemplate. If you’re not in a French restaurant for lunch by, at the latest, half-past twelve, then you’re going to go hungry. First of all, you’ll find it impossible to get a table. But, say, come one o’clock, if you’re lucky enough to find a table in a restaurant, don’t imagine for one moment that it is certain that you will be served. Most restaurateurs decide that they’ve had enough of feeding the hungry hoards by that time of day, even if there’s lots more custom to be had.

Of course, this doesn’t take into account the fact that the odd restaurant owner – and they are more plentiful than you might think – may well decide that he’s only going to cook for half the tables in his restaurant today – or maybe only the outdoor tables, or indoor ones. It’s quite common to be told that a half-empty restaurant is full!

And, then of course, there is the nonsense that restaurant customers get up to. A case in point. Our son is working in a restaurant on the ski slopes for the season. Last week, as he was clearing tables, he accidently knocked a customer’s ski glove onto the floor – picked it up and apologised. The skier squared up to him asking “Does it not concern you that you knock people’s clothes onto the floor?” Our son did the right thing and walked away. But the customer called the manager and told him that his glove had been deliberately stood on and that he wanted an apology and a free lunch. The skier’s friends promptly apologised for his behaviour, wrestled him back to the table and just about got away without being thrown out. Holiday season brings all the nutcases out!

Today's "5Minute" Seminar - Treble Your Income!

first broadcast May 18 2009

So many "self-improvement" websites and books focus on money, you might be forgiven for thinking that money's the most important thing in life. Sure, it's most people's biggest worry - and there's little you can do without it. But, if you're primarily focused on money, you're never going to have enough of it! You need to change your focus - get your priorities right - put the quality of your own life first. Everyone can do this by learning how to focus in the here and now. If you do, everything will fall into place in your life - even money... watch this video on how money looks after itself if you choose to look after yourself...