It's all too easy to find ourselves physically seated in front of someone whilst being mentally in another world - even if we did our early morning mental workout - even if we sat down with the other person with the very best of intentions.

If - or when - you catch yourself AWOL, there's no point in getting annoyed with yourself - that will distance you further from reality. Simply rub the palm of your hand along a convenient surface... touch reality. Ground yourself in the moment and start over.

Most people, even though they don't know it, are asleep. They are having a nightmare. Anthony de Mello

During dinner with a friend last week, we witnessed three cars trying to get into one parking space, outside the restaurant window. "That's what you're always talking about in your Ezine" my friend said. "A classic example" I replied "and I got my next Normal People story earlier today!"

That morning, we had bumped into our old neighbour's daughter and I enquired how her Dad was - having been diagnosed with lung cancer, he had changed his ways - instead of smoking forty cigarettes a day, he smoked thirty! And, as we discovered, he had died in agony.

A little stunned, we arrived home to find our current neighbour standing in the middle of the road admiring the snow-covered mountains. Four weeks after heart surgery, he has a new lease of life: "Isn't it stunning" he enthused... through a thick cloud of cigarette smoke!

But best of all was what Lisa saw while I was in the Boulangerie. A middle-aged man was struggling across the road, with a little respirator strapped to his belt, an oxigen pipe fixed by elastic to his nose. He was moving, slowly, with difficulty, through his very own personal cloud of... you've guessed it, cigarette smoke.

Inappopriate behaviour is everywhere - evidence for it abounds from the soaring numbers of Anti-Social Behaviour Orders in the UK to the 'general lack of respect' noted by researchers of behaviour on the Paris Metro system recently, whilst recent research suggests that over 80% of people claim to have been subjected to bullying at work. I could go on and on and on - but, if you open your eyes for even a few minues, you will experience people behaving badly all around you - chances are you're a guilty party yourself.

The fact is, though, that, given the manner in which the human brain is wired, we tend to go through life with our eyes wide shut! deMello's quote, opposite, sums it up succinctly, whilst an abundance of evidence from the field of psychology time and again supports the view that we are sleep-walking our way through what passes for life.

If we are not present, it is simply beyond the bounds of possibility that we should behave appropriately. As we view reality through the prism (or prison!) of our stored knowledge or formative learning, as we perceive the present through the fog created by the daily dose of 70,000 thoughts, it is impossible to appropriately guage what's going on and how to, consequently, appropriately act. Bearing in mind that this summary applies not to me or you but to all of us, the behaviours that we endure and procure every day could be nothing other than inappropriate reactions to a multitude of incorrectly guessed versions or perversions of reality.

Life - your life or the lives of those with whom you come into contact - will not improve unless you emerge from the mental mist to perceive, appreciate and indulge in the reality of the moment and, in doing so, take appropriate action... something that is a million miles removed from our normal propensity for inappropriate reaction.

Thich Nhat Hanh points out that, if one member of a family practices mindfulness, the whole family benefits - if one student in a class is mindful, the whole class will be beneficially effected. It follows that, if one member of a leadership or management team is mindful, all will feel the sometimes subtle, often in-your-face benefits. Deepak Chopra - who talks about our interconnectedness - and Brian Greene who, as a physicists explicitly understands that energetic connection, stand four-square behind this perspective.

In short, it's up to you to be mindful. Change starts with small change in your life. Becuase, until you develop your innate ability to be focused, present and mindful, until you bother your ass to turn up to the main event - your own life - you've got a snowball's chance in hell of doing the right thing!