Today's video - on teamwork - has a particularly business slant. But no one is an island. Indeed quantum physics would have it that we are all intimately connected. And, whilst our efforts at developing our mindfulness and focus are intensely personal, they will benefit from the encouragement of those who mean most to us.

So, if you haven't already shared your journey with those closest to you, do. And, if you have, try to make sure that your efforts, struggles and successes become part and parcel of what you talk about each day.

Over the last couple of weeks, I've had more cause than usual to talk with clients about the issue of approval - how the normal person craves the good opinion of others, how we all like to be liked. Indeed, this issue comes up regularly when I use the Mindfulness Measurement Index with my clients.

Many great writers, philosophers, scientists and psychologists have all explored the inherent flaw by which we allow our happiness to be dictated by what others think of us to the extent that people like deMello, Chopra and Csikszentmihalyi have described approval as a drug - a drug off of which we should try to wean ourselves.

So, there we were a couple of weeks ago, entertaining a couple of friends that we might see, on average, once a year. It was the first time that they had visited us in our new home and they were highly complimentary of what we have done to it, telling us that it was full of charm and character. We felt well pleased with ourselves. In fact, so pleased with ourselves that it led us to the obvious conclusion that, despite all our efforts, we still succumb to the allure of that drug that has such an impact in normal everyday life.

Give others the power to make you happy and you give them the power to make you unhappy too... imagine if they'd told us our house was awful!

"It's only when you stop to think about it that you realize that the only thing standing in the way of your own success is you." A comment from a client who had just worked her way through a two-day workshop with me recently. She went on to explain that, when you do think about it, it makes abundant common sense (something, of course, that isn't all that common at all!). "When I've something big to do, I say to myself: 'Oh you're not going to be able to do that' and I end up being right" she continued.

Many years ago, Henry Ford said that if you think you can do something or if you think you cannot do something, you're right. Our actions, our ability to succeed, our behaviour is dictated by our thoughts. Many of these directive thoughts are subconscious. We only become aware of them as a consequence of our actions - like losing our temper, like not getting involved in a conversation because we feel inadequate or stupid, by over-reacting because we feel pressured or threatened, by being arrogant as a means of concealing our perceived inadequacy... the list is, unfortunately, endless and, no doubt, you have your own.

The problem with leaving key decisions on how we should behave, act or react up to our own mind is that our own mind will, always and by default, refer to our 'stored knowledge' to assure itself that it is making the correct decision, that it is making the right choice. However, our 'stored knowledge' - that body of subconscious knowledge that we use to make sense of the world and our own place in it - was learned during our formative years and has not been added to since then. In other words, the 'wisdom' that we use to guide today's action and behaviour is completely irrelevant to what is happening today. Not only is it irrelevant, it filters our perspective on what is actually happening so that we actually react to what we think is happening instead of what is.

So, if you learned, during your formative years, that you have perceived inadequacies as well as your perceived strengths, then those 'beliefs' will 'enable' you question your own ability on a daily basis and, on a grander scale, will question your very own belief that you can achieve what you most dearly wish to achieve, whatever that might be. This in-built barrier to success will forever compromise your best efforts until you choose to put a stop to it.

The choice that you need to make to do this, to effect this fundamental change in your behaviour and your ability to succeed, is a choice that is exercised long before your automatic behaviour kicks in. The choice needs to be made at that crucial moment when, normally, you would make that automatic subconscious choice. In other words, you have to learn to disengage your automatic pilot and, as I said, this needs to be done long before the event. In fact, you need to start making this choice in the little things that make up the fabric of your life. You need to choose to not make an automatic decision when it doesn't matter, so that you can make a decision of your own conscious choosing when it does matter.

That's why you need to start your day be choosing to pay attention to reality - something that is often far removed from what we normally pay attention to. Meditation enables us do just that - it is a vital training exercise that will enable a flabby mind become fit for purpose.