Thursday June 11, 2015 - Dublin

Imagine what your life would be like if you could imagine yourself to be someone different than you are! No need to imagine that - because that is what we all do every single day of our adult lives - we imagine ourselves to be somebody that we are not. We do this automatically - a highly effective automated mental process that stops us navel gazing: an occupation that, in evolutionary times, might have distracted us at just the crucial moment when the tiger leapt from the bushes.

So, imagining that you're somone else played a key role in facilitating the evolution of the species. But, today, it plays a key role in putting your life on hold because the imaginary you is constructed from snapshots of you when you were a little child or, more to the point, how you felt about yourself, when you were a little child, when something good or bad happened. The unfortunate thing is we're predisposed to dwelling on the bad - perhaps because it automatically puts us on our guard: undoubtedly another evolutionary advantage.

Your personality is the imaginary you. It is not real. It is not even your own imagination playing tricks on you - it is the imagination of all the imaginary people who did things to you or for you during your early formative years. You could try imagining that you're somone better than you had already imagined - that's what behavioural modelling is all about: if you want to play better golf imagine you're Rory McIlroy, if you want to play better football imagine you're Ronaldo! But you'd still be imagining - and imagining stops you becoming acquainted with both the real you and the reality of the moment. And, until you experience the reality of the moment - with the real you present in it - you're "living" and imaginary "life". And that's when all your problems start: worry, anxiety, stress, depression.

Stop imagining by experiencing reality. It you don't know how, take a look at today's Quick Tip above.

She gets a mention in today's video but, in the interest of protecting the guilty, she will remain nameless! She is The One... the one who "loves my personality"! And, unfortunately, she has the kind of personality that even her friends have difficulty coping with. Yes, they put up with her, because she's important to be around. Yes, they cover for her when she does something dreadful that could compromise her. They even delete offensive social media messages that she's posted so that the whole world can see. But, most of all, they put up with the abuse:

The late night pushing and shoving in the street (generally outside a pub or a nightclub) where she screams at them things like:

"You never acknowledge my achievements" "You never tell me how wonderful I am" or "You never stand up for me in an argument"

In private, they snipe amongst each other, calling her all the names under the Sun, the worst probably being "Psycopath" - mainly because it is true.

Who is worse? Them or her? Or are we all just mad together?